i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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