in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
