So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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