The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My feet surprised me
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