It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
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Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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