Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
