I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
