As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
