I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
