If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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