i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
