dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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