just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
