return my video game
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
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she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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