Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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