I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
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just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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