Soap is not a condiment
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
