Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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