The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
