What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize