Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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