his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
