the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
