her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
