Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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