i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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