I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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