side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
