I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
