A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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