i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
