I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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