We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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