I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
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You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize