I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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