it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
And then he peed in my hair
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