I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize