haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
