She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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