dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
