Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
