I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
