if only i could text you this smell
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
