Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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