You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
