i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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