She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
