i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
