they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
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I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
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Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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