Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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