Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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