You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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