If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
