Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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