so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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